Thursday, December 22, 2011

The key to life

A bright day of August,  I would be around 14 or 15 years old at that time. I was vacating in Pakistan after having appeared in the O/Levels exams...The memory is clear thou saddened by the fact that the other person from the memory is now dead...My Dada jee.

He was in one of his lecture moods and well, I figure, he guessed right that I wasn't :)

So, he started telling me a story of Batala (India - Pre-partition)

The story goes....

Rana ( My Dada jee used to call me so)..... When I was a very young boy, I went with my father to attend a wedding in a different town ( he knew the name of that town..I don't recall it now). My mother, sisters and mostly everyone else in the house had already left a few days ago ( as was traditional back then).
Lock with Key
While leaving, my father (your great grand father) did something different....Once he had locked the house he gave me the big lead (metal) key to me for safe keeping :) I was very happy at being given this responsibility. It was the first time that my father had given me the key to the home. Now the locks you kids have are different from the ones we used to use. He then proceeded to go to his cupboard and after a 2-3 minute ritual of locks, padlocks, etc etc etc... he recovered a lock (that looked quite like the picture here on the right).

He continued...

This key, your great grand father gave me and told me to keep it safely in my pocket. Once we started on our journey (via train)...soon i forget about the key in my pocket.
I still remember when we got to ( the city where the wedding was) there. While exiting the Railway station, my  father took a handful of Jasmine flowers and smelled them. He had me smell them was very refreshing....He then gave me a few of the jasmine flowers and I placed them in my pocket so that I would smell fragrant...Artificial perfumes were not IN back then ... (and we smiled at me.)

Then my Dada jee proceeded to tell me about the events at the wedding... girls ... dances ... food ... and of course the all important family politics :)

Eventually coming back...

My Dada jee continued his story....

So finally we all returned to our home in Batala, Gurdaspur and my father asked me to produce the key..... When I reached for the key ...(contrary to what I was thinking...the key was still in his pocket...hehe ... no thriller there)..... I took hold of the key and brought it out. Along with the key some of the old jasmine flowers , now dry and brownish color came in to my hand.
I blew the dry flowers away and proudly gave my father the key...

My father took the key and then opened the lock... he asked me to stay at the door while all family members walked in to the home.

Finally we were the only two remaining standing.... My father took the lead key and gave it to me and said....
"Putar Khurshaid" smell this :)

Would you believe... The lead key was giving off the same fragrant jasmine smell. It was very amusing indeed.

My father simply said.... Son, you are getting older now and will soon enter more practical life where you have to choose friends and directions in life. Always remember just as the fragrant jasmine has penetrated the lead key , similarly no matter how strong we think we are...we always risk having habits from our company rub on us.
So instead of putting yourself on a silly test every other day to prove that you cannot be spoiled .... its better to avoid company of people that have negative behavior and be close to people who are good.

After that my Dada jee was silent for a bit and then he gave me that Key ..... and he said "I hope I do not need to say anything more now.....Do I?"

I was amazed and happily influenced at that time....I took the key...I still have it deep inside my own little ritual of locks and padlocks and such and I intend to share it with my daughter when she is old enough to understand this or when she needs to.

My Dada jee, passed away on 15 January 2005 ..... My daughter was born on 15th January 2010 ....... Ironic thou, I feel its just a way of nature telling me not to forget the important things in life.

Things rub off on us at all times... Try being influenced by the good.

Good Luck.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Exit Interviews-- Not exactly like the recruitment interview

"No-one is indispensable"

The adage might ultimately be true, but that's not really the it?

The fact is that most people who leave do actually possess useful (often critical) knowledge and experience not to mention personal connections, as typically applies in sales and buying roles, and obviously business unit management. 
Moreover most departing employees are delighted to share this knowledge, to help a successor, or to brief a management team, if only the organization would simply ask them politely to do so (assuming their exit is handled decently of course, which the exit interview helps to enable).

Aims and results of an Exit Interview

  • They provide an opportunity to 'make peace' with disgruntled employees, who might otherwise leave with vengeful intentions or worse will spread negative word-of-mouth in the industry.
  • Exit interviews are seen by existing employees as a sign of positive culture. They are regarded as caring and compassionate - a sign that the organisation is big enough to expose itself to criticism.
  • Exit interviews accelerate participating managers' understanding and experience of managing people and organizations. Hearing and handling feedback is a powerful development process.
  • Exit interviews help to support an organization's proper HR practices. They are seen as positive and necessary for quality and effective people-management by most professional institutes and accrediting bodies concerned with quality management of people, organizations and service.
  • The results and analysis of exit interviews provide relevant and useful data directly into training needs analysis and training planning processes.
  • Exit interviews provide valuable information as to how to improve recruitment and induction of new employees.
  • Exit interviews provide direct indications as to how to improve staff retention.
  • Sometimes an exit interview provides the chance to retain a valuable employee who would otherwise have left (organizations often accept resignations far too readily without discussion or testing the firmness of feeling - the exit interview provides a final safety net).
  • A significant proportion of employee leavers will be people that the organization is actually very sorry to leave (despite the post-rationalisation and sour grapes reactions of many senior executives to the departure of their best people). The exit interview therefore provides an excellent source of comment and opportunity relating to management succession planning. Good people leave often because they are denied opportunity to grow and advance. Wherever this is happening organizations need to know about it and respond accordingly.
  • Every organization has at any point in time several good people on the verge of leaving because they are not given the opportunity to grow and develop, at the same time, ironically, that most of the management and executives are overworked and stretched, some to the point of leaving too. Doesn't it therefore make good sense to raise the importance of marrying these two situations to provide advantage both ways - ie., facilitate greater delegation of responsibility to those who want it? Exit interviews are an excellent catalyst for identifying specific mistakes and improvement opportunities in this vital area of management development and succession.
  • Exit interviews, and a properly organised, positive exit process also greatly improve the chances of successfully obtaining and transferring useful knowledge, contacts, insights, tips and experience, from the departing employee to all those needing to know it, especially successors and replacements. Most leavers are happy to help if you have the courage and decency to ask and provide a suitable method for the knowledge transfer, be it a briefing meeting, a one-to-one meeting between the replacement and the leaver, or during the exit interview itself.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Interview tips for Fresh Graduates!

After having cleared all academic hurdles, now you are at the start of the job race. By now, you must have a fair idea as to what type of job that you should do. You also must have a realistic assessment about the competition prevailing in the job market. Added to it, there will also be pressures on you not to sit idle or while away time. The best thing you can do at this time is to systematically approach the recruitment process just as you would an assignment. No, I don't mean that you should copy and edit someone else's strategy... Work on it. Devise your own strategy and invest time and effort in to the application process. 

Tips for Fresh Graduate Job Search

The following tips are useful as starting points for a steady and successful career ahead.

  1. Identify Your Career: Considering your academic training and qualification, you would have arrived at a fairly comprehensive idea about your possible career. Like when you did some professional course, your line of career was well decided at the beginning itself. Engineers, doctors, lawyers, accountants, artists, etc., belong to that category. If you pursued higher academic studies, including research, then academic career may prove to be suitable to you. Management graduates are suitable for good positions in any organization or industry, as they can adapt themselves in any situation. So, identification of career, based on academic training is very important before embarking on a career pursuit.
  2. Your Resume is the Key: The next step after career identification is to enter the job market. How to do it? You do it by getting out your résumé properly done. The resume is your passport for any job application. It is also known by various names such as curriculum Vitae (CV), bio-data, etc. Whatever be the name, the basic idea is to give maximum information about you in clear terms, and without leaving out any worthwhile information. It is your marketing tool, so spend considerable time on it. If your resume appears incomprehensible or directionless, then you will be doomed. Highlight the things that are necessary for a prospective employer, like your qualification, skills, and accomplishments, etc.  Thou do bear in mind that not everything is supposed to go on the resume. Do leave out things that you can share in the interview. These would be the secondary things not as important to list in the resume, however important enough to set you apart from the other candidates and let you impress the interviewers during the interview.
  3. Application Submission: While seeking a job, one must apply to the job opening. A company-specific application (in some cases, plain application only) should be procured, carefully filled in with all details, with resume and cover letter attached, and with required papers and certificate copies enclosed along with job application. Remember, incomplete applications are liable to be rejected outright. You can submit application online or personally. When postal delivery is insisted, you may send it through a reputed courier.
  4. Interview Preparation: Sometimes, you may be required to sit for an examination or test, followed by interview for successful candidates. So, get as much information as possible about the prospective employer. Next, prepare with correct answers regarding your suitability for the job, your career expectations, your expected salary, etc. Some may even want guarantee from you to work for a minimum amount of time. You have to be ready for all such queries.
  5. Initial phone Interview: After your submission of application, you may expect a phone call from employers for initial telephonic interview. Such phone interviews are meant for screening candidates, so be careful to be clear and audible over the phone. Keep the atmosphere peaceful and noise-free at home on the day of the phone interview. Most interviewers will ask you if this is a suitable time for you to talk for a few minutes...if you honestly cannot find a decent private spot ....let them know and give them a suitable time when you can talk to them. This is better then not being able to answer the questions candidly and without interruption may it be co workers, noisy area or carrier reception issues.
  6. Wear Suitable Attire: It is advisable to wear formal dress always as it suits the atmosphere at the interview. Do not wear college student dress, it will be frowned upon.
  7. Appearance Counts: In addition to your dress, your appearance creates the first impression. The first impression that you create will dictate the course of the interview. Do not look unkempt. You should look well groomed and immaculate. Wear conservative shoes.
  8. Your Voice also Matters: Your voice should be such that you should be heard clearly and audibly. Do not mumble, state emphatically, but politely. Do not raise your voice above the voice of the interviewer.
  9. Exude Confidence: Do not be timid in answering any queries. Do not, for a moment, think that you are a fresh graduate. Keep eye contact throughout, without staring at the interviewer. Respond with confidence and self-assurance.
  10. Thank the Interviewer: After the interview, thank the interviewer or a team of interviewers individually for their time. Follow it up with a 'thank you' note to all of them.

    If you follow the above basic tips and suggestions, your fresh graduate job search will lead you to a successful career. Inshallah.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Engineers Wanted

Required :

Mechanical Engineers


  • BE Mechanical
  • 3+ years of experience in services preferably with rotary equipment.

Candidates with the basic requirement mentioned above should apply to with "Service Engineer" in the email subject.


Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Interview "Do Not's"

Here are a few don’ts to remember when in an interview or going to one:


Arrive Late
Allow enough time for any unforeseen circumstances
Make frequent use of active verbs, such as, achieved, set up, managed, responsible for, led
Be specific instead of appearing to be flaunting openly.
Use bullet points in conversation
Be descriptive and conversational while describing your achievements
Mumble or talk too fast or too softly
You must speak clearly!
Fidget and fiddle with items on the desk
Handle a pen of your own or yet better try to control your hand movement
Play with your hair and clothes
Wait until the interview is over to do that
Use slang words, make silly jokes, or chew gum
Instead try thinking “would I take someone like this serious?”
Lean on the interviewer's desk or glance at your watch
It gives the impression that you are not serious
Hide any aspect of your previous record, overstate qualifications, brag, or become angry
This would be simply “wrong”. Never lie in an interview…it will come back to haunt you.
Mention any negative aspect of your current employer, classes, or university
It will reflect of you as a person
Show ignorance about the company
This means that you should have done research on the company before you go in to the interview and then allow your research to come through in conversation
Bring up the topic of salary.
It will be discussed when the time is right. Don’t worry it will come up if they are interested.
Come across as being passive or indifferent
Be positive and enthusiastic
Be overbearing, or conceited.
Be friendly and open, but do not flirt!
Answer questions with another question
That’s just rude.
Use negative body language, or convey inappropriate aspects of your character.
That’s like handing over a reason for the interviewer to reject you.
Appear half-asleep
go to bed early the night before the interview and sleep soundly knowing that you are fully prepared for the day ahead

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Things never to say in a job interview

Off all the things one wishes they had not said in a job interview I would like to highlight the top five :)

So here are 5 of the biggest blunders..............

1. “I hated my last boss.” It doesn’t matter how bad your last boss was — don’t cite it as a reason for leaving your job neither should you complain about your boss’s managerial skills. This kind of "trash" talking will make your potential new boss think your interpersonal skills are weak and you’re not a team player. Follow the advice your mom gave you: If you can’t say anything nice about someone, explain that your last role was not a good fit for you, or you are looking for new ways to grow.

2. “I don’t know anything about this company.” Do your research. Know something about the company you’re interviewing for, and be able to articulate how your skills will complement the business. If you’re a Web designer, for example, at the very least study the company’s Web site and explain what you like and what you would change, given the chance. A neutral example would be for instance reviewing the company's website for the careers section or the Human Resource section. You can easily start an educated and informed discussion with the HR representative on how you feel the section could have been more informational or why you liked it etc.

3. “No questions, thanks.” When it’s your turn to ask questions about the company and the role, have something to talk about. If you don’t, it looks like your lack of inquisitiveness means you are not genuinely interested in a career, but just a paycheck. Did the interviewer already answer everything you wanted to know? At least rephrase something you already talked about in a new way.

4. “What sect do you belong to ?” Small talk can be great. You may use small talk to include something unrelated to the job directly but that shows competencies that are transferable to the job you are applying for thou. But know where the line is and don’t cross it — don’t ask or talk about stuff that’s inappropriately personal.

5. “And another thing…” Avoid rats and bitterness. It’s great to have strong opinions, but be careful that you don’t come across sounding like you are angry or so opinionated that you’ll be difficult to work with. No one wants to work with a serial complainer.

Wish you the best of luck for your interviews.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Living on a budget

We’ve all been there. That time of the month when you begin to realize that your bank statement is due, and you purposefully avoid bringing the mail in so that you don’t have to face up to how little is left in your account this month. I generally dread the daily sms that my bank sends me whenever my balance is below Rs.5000. Every day after my balance reaches Rs. 4999 and below at precisely 9:05am my cell phone buzzes to the balance sms. It keeps doing that until payday. The countdown to payday is crucial. Buying those six DVDs from fortress just seemed like such a good idea at the time! Why does everything have to cost so much nowadays? 

Well, we all like to buy stuff, there’s no denying that. But there are ways to get at least some of the things you want without using over and above your available resources each month. So formulating a spending plan doesn’t sound like your idea of fun – but don’t you want that feeling of freedom that comes with accurately estimating how much money you have to spend, by planning your purchases, and not being afraid of your finances?

A thrifty budget can help more than you think it’s going to hurt!

Okay, So Tell Me Again How This Isn’t Going To Hurt…

The notion of sitting down and planning all the things you can’t buy doesn’t sound like much fun, but by coming up with a thrifty budget and by allotting various allowances to each of the things you are likely to spend money on can truly help you to gain a sense of power over your finances. While an attitude of handing out money when you need to might seem a lot less painless than sticking to a spending plan, wouldn’t you love to be able to have some money to spend on the things you love without having to fear the arrival of mailman or the beep of the sms at the end of each month? With a little forward planning, you can achieve this.

So be brave and sit down with your checkbook. Look at how much money you spend each month on regular outgoings, like rent, groceries, Petrol / CNG, utilities and so on. Plan to set aside an allowance for each of these things, and put the money in a separate account if you have to, so that you can’t spend it. It might seem painful now to have to allocate so much money to these basic things, but ultimately you will save in bank charges, and you will feel so much better knowing where your money is going. Anticipating the cost of things is much more cost effective than allowing your finances go into the red.

The way to be thrifty is to plan it. And while it might not seem like fun initially, by sitting down and planning a budget, you are facing up to the money you spend, which makes it easier to see where you can make savings. And once you are in control of your finances, you will begin to see your savings add up. And pretty soon you will have some money to spend that won’t leave you deathly afraid to greet the mailman! J
I was speaking to friend on this topic and me mentioned that he started on a similar program. He started to keep a little black note book in his pocket and whenever he would make a payment, he would note the amount and the purpose. After a month he was surprised to note that the maximum amount was spent on unplanned snacks at work. He immediately stopped buying snacks at work. This contributed to a substantial saving. He then approached all higher figures in the black book in a similar manner and managed to budget the expenses and add substantial savings in a few months.

Good luck with your savings. I just started and need all the luck I can get J

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Asking for a raise ... Compilation

With today's economic and employment situation, employees hunker down and avoid drawing attention to themselves. Asking for a raise? Out of the question.
You want a raise??
Not true. If your company is filing for bankruptcy, that's one thing. But work goes on and the best performers--especially the ones who bring on new clients and save their firm money--are justified in asking for a salary hike. The trick is showing your manager how much you're worth.
"The need to reward good employees doesn't change if the economy is in a recession or an upturn." Companies make employee investments at different times, and some do it purposely during a recession so they're prepared to come out of it stronger. Employers need to consider what would happen if their best employees leave. The search process is painful since it's so hard to find a good match."

Like with any salary negotiation, find out what people in your market and your position are making. There are several ways to get that information. First, consult a recruiter that specializes in your industry. They know exactly what your competitors are paying.
You can also find this data on Web sites like . They have an extensive database of subscribers who have contributed salary information. The user must answer a few questions related to their experience and job responsibilities to find out what others are getting paid.
Once you know your market value, request a conversation with your manager about salary. Don't threaten that you'll leave if you don't get a raise, and stay away from mentioning financial hardship. Instead, remind your manager of the strong contributions you've made. During an economic downturn, highlight new clients you've brought to the firm and cost-saving measures you've enacted. Include the key projects you've completed and goals you've met.
Thou your employer might be losing money because of a downturn, but if you can prove that you're vital to getting the company through the recession, then a raise is assured.
Next, present your manager with the research you collected on what others in your market are making. If you completed the salary survey, bring it with you. If you contacted recruiters, mention that. But you want to take a conversational tone instead of a confrontational one. Bring it up as if it's a discussion in which you're presenting research.
Don't say, 'You're underpaying me!,' Instead you might want to say something like, 'Over the last year we had very specific targets in the organization that I had a vital role in assisting the company with. That, combined with the research I've done on current market conditions, makes me feel that my position here is worth the fair market value. I'd like to have a conversation to discuss my value to the organization.'"
Don't expect to get rejected but be prepared just in case. One route is to consider perks outside of salary. For instance, many people consider additional vacation time just as valuable as money. Other options include health benefits, reimbursement for commuting and professional training in a job-related skill.

If you are denied the raise, tell your manager, 'I appreciate that finances are tough now. Can we discuss non-salary perks?'
Another way to deal with rejection is to ask what you can do in the next six months to make this conversation successful the next time. Ask the boss to be as specific as possible. It lets the boss know you're serious and that you're willing to improve to get this raise.
Again... best of luck :)

Saturday, September 24, 2011

How to say "good bye" in a job interview

In the line of work that I am in, one gets to interview numerous candidates for a variety of roles and positions. One thing I have noticed is that the candidates come rehearsed with answers for even the toughest job interview questions, but are rarely prepared on how to end the interview? 
While it's true that first impressions are important, many people forget that last impressions tend to linger. Ending a job interview is nearly as important as starting one.
I was talking to a fellow HR Manager, belonging to a large technology firm. He agreed with me that one of the important things in an interview is how you end it.
He says, "Just as importantly is how you end the interview, so just shaking their hand and saying 'I look forward to hearing from you' is not really the best last impression you want to make."
I read online that Human Resources expert Sarah Paul agrees that your attitude at the end of an interview can help or hurt your chances. She says, "Show confidence by giving a firm handshake and making strong eye contact." 
Her other suggestions include:
Avoid looking needy - make the interviewer feel like you have other options on the table.
Asking if it would be appropriate for you to follow up in a week regarding the status of the recruitment also demonstrates assertiveness and shows you are not afraid to take control of your career.  
Even if you don't think it went well, confidence goes a long way and is sometimes more important than how you answered that dreadful 'give me an example of a weakness' question.
You can also suggest that the interviewer please contact you should they have any further questions/clarifications. This shows you are collaborative and want them to have as much information about you as possible.  
If you think you did a terrible interview, don't show it. Good interviewers can read body language.
Keep your head up, have a strong handshake and maintain eye contact.
Make sure you get a business card so you can email a thank you note. 
Marci Schnapp-Rafael, president of TeamQuest Systems Inc. also suggested the following actions to ensure you leave a positive lasting impression:
  • Leave behind examples of your work and positive evidence of what you have testified to during the interview
  • Stop talking and exit gracefully

She cautioned that sometimes job candidates unconsciously sabotage their job chances at the interview. Some of the actions she has seen include:
  • Leaving behind garbage like an empty Starbucks cup or water bottle. She adds, "Not that you should bring your own into the interview in the first place."
  • Taking a call on your cell phone as you are walking out the door.
  • Continuing to talk or ask questions even after the interview has ended
  • Slamming the door, stomping feet or showing any signs of being emotionally upset.

The end of the interview is the final chance you have to make a good impression. 
Best of luck :)

Thursday, September 22, 2011


Reflection is not something we tend to do very often. Mostly time is just not enough. We wish the day had 30 hours, and years had 500 days and with all this we would still age at half the rate that we do now…Probably add lesser pull of gravity to that list J
Do this for me… try it… just relax in your chair. Forget everything and resist the existence of everything around you. Now think about what you wanted to be when you were 3 years old. Work your way up on a approximately 5 year increment basic. This is what my reflection was:

What I wanted to be
My Papa
Software Engineer
HR Professional
My Papa

I have come full circle… What about you?
Life is full of surprises. My father comes factory built with faults, and that is what makes him perfect.  I too have my own unique set of faults. I am not perfect. It is really lovely and kind of my wife to think and say that I am a perfect Husband and a great father. But when I reflect on myself I see many improvement areas.
My father is the best example of a father to me. A friend, father, disciplinarian, ideal, angry young man and self less. I wish that if I were to be half a father to my daughter, I “may” be close to father.  Life is funny. You only get one change, unlike the computer games. Wonder what it would be like if there was a cheat code in life. My life revolves around my wife, my daughter and ofcourse my parents.
How I wish to be a baby again in the laps of my parents ( thou I wouldn’t remember anything ) J
Today when I hold my daughter, I feel the strongest sense of satisfaction and a spark of love that I have never felt in my life. A much stronger bond exists between my baby and her mother(my wife) ….now I know the meaning of “The cure to the worst of ailments lies in a mothers hug”.
My reflection made me call my dad and tell him that I love him and no matter how far physically I am from him….He is always a part of me and in my thoughts.
Would appreciate if you share your reflections.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Life is too short...

Life is too short to spend in depression over anything. We get to live only once and if I have learnt anything in this life… it is that the good or bad times do not last forever.
Life is a sine curve. The good follows the bad and vice versa. Of course unlike the sin curve, life does not follow a formula of predictability. This is where such values as perseverance, patience, belief, trust and adaptability come in.

I have had my share of blunders in life. Well honestly using the word “blunder” is an understatement. Imagine being stuck in -35 temperatures in the suburbs of Ontario in a jeep that’s stuck in 3 feet of snow. Now extend your imagination – not only is the jeep stuck you yourself are stuck up to chest level in snow trying to figure out a way to get the jeep out  That was me and my 2 dorm mates from York.
Anyhow, let’s not get carried away with little tidbits of life. The real concern is that one needs to find the little shred of motivation to keep oneself going when the depression sets in. When life is full of joy and beauty seems to be in everything – there is nothing to worry about. However when things take a turn towards the bad and then the worse, we always feel like this is the end. Only to give up right before things start to get better.
My advice to anyone and everyone who reads this blog is that “PLEASE, treat this life as a gift. Cherish it and never lose hope. Neither should you get overwhelmed when joy shines on you.”
“You will be surprised what you can live thru”

Spend a few minutes to look at this picture. Thats all I ask.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Money is not everything… but it is a catalyst for happiness.

I know, it seems very shallow to say that Money is all I need. But I have my reasons.

It appears that money at least money that is for ones optimal existence and a little bit of the bare 'niceities' is essential. Do keep in mind I never said necessities 
I feel that money keeps relationships healthy and nice. Not to say that it will do a 360 degree on a ruined relation or an already bad relationship. No. It will thou help very much in maintaining an already healthy relationship. For instance, parents love their children. Now the child is all grown up and it’s time for him / her to give back to the family.
Lets presume that the salary is low, which in most cases for fresh workers it is. Lets also presume that the circumstances for the father / mother have changed and the cash flow in the home is not what it used to be… This is where there is going to be tension. Arguments over non-issues. Multiple sarcastic comments.
The real underlying issue is the scarcity of money. Had the money been there, the bond would have grown stronger.
I realize that a true test of a relation or strength of a relation is adversity. But hear me out. I have seen many parents who are not very affording and they take their kids out to McDonalds or KFC and they watch while their child / children eats the famous happy meal etc. They provide for their children while they sacrifice their own desire.
But then the child grown up and now, instead of paying the home electricity bill, he / she prefers to pay for a new car they just got on installment from the back because all their friends just did that?? Where’s the justice here? Would these children then sacrifice for their children? Yes. But for their parents? Maybe.
Lets look at a married couple. Friends of mine. I cannot name them for obvious reasons 
Very much in love. Very happy. Strong bond. There you go their relationship has been described. Now the guy had some trouble at his job. Some unethical practices that he wanted to avoid and the only way out was to quit and seek another job where he can work honestly. Initially the wife supported him as she saw him loosing motivation and energy on a daily basis..she loves him… so she encouraged him to quit and seek something more fulfilling.
Then…as the unemployed days became weeks and weeks turned in to months… the relationship got sour. Arguments over who to visit and why because of the price of gas. Home cooked meals vs ordering out or dining out.
Both had their valid sides. She had let go of the maid to cut expenses and would work all day handling the babies and cleaning the house, doing laundry, ironing, etc and ultimately would want not to cook once in a while and this is where the husband…who being frustrated by the rejections or silence from prospective employers and the diminishing funds in the bank who retort that she cook … let me give you a sample ‘conversation’
Wife: I am too tired to cook.
Husband: So am I. I don’t want to cook!
Wife: I never said that you should cook.
Husband: What do you want me to do then?
Wife: Lets order out. Let’s get something affordable from the bazaar?
Husband: The least YOU would find edible will cost us a couple of hundred rupees! Money does not grow on trees. You have no idea what its like to be without a job and with no money! All you do is talk about wasting money!
Wife: Don’t you dare start on that again! I am working my A** off every day after firing the maid. I clean the toilets for god’s sake! All you do is go around in your Air conditioned car everyday while I sit here even rationalizing the use of the fan in more than one room! Then you come back with nothing but a droopy face and don’t want to talk to me because that stresses you out!
Husband: Everything you have here is because of me you ungrateful woman! I am the one working and earning ever since we got married. And now you see a little patch of trouble and you hate me and everything about me. You have to do a little work at home and you are going crazy!
Wife: Don’t you call this work ‘little’. Why don’t you stay at home and help me? I am educated too, I can find a job. I am sure I can make more money than you!
Husband: Oh! So now you want to tell me you are better than me!
Wife: Whatever… My mom gifted us baby’s diapers this month… I cannot even look my parents in the face anymore because of you! You should have been a man and taken bribe at work …. At least we wouldn’t have to live a life of beggars!
Husband: Hah… so the thousands I have been spending on you and the babies is now cleaned by the pennies your mother gave us in pampers!!!!
Wife: so its YOU and us NOW! You are one and me and the babies the other party! What the He**. Why did I marry you! I should have married my cousin in the interior ministry and lived a stable life instead of sweating all day and listen to you tell me how ‘little’ I do!
Husband: If you want a divorce say so!!!

So…. Does she actually hate him no?
No my dear readers. No.

She still loves him.

Unfortunately the scarcity of supply vs the ever increasing demands put a toll on all of us. Both of them are angry at external factors and are venting internally.
Why… Money.

Money is not everything… but it is a catalyst for happiness.